Day Two

Dear MI5 and other interested parties,

What a night!! Nothing went to plan. None of my favourite real ales were on tap! Just another reason to hate this country... I'll be honest with you, my dearest MI5, sometimes I wonder if I should give up this life of eco-extremism with all the campaigning, meetings, cycling and recycling. Maybe I should just let the crazies continue to live their lives in peace until the day comes that the tides rise so high that most of Britain is washed away to sea; don't arrest me, that's not terrorism, that's just a natural consequence of our non-extremist lifestyles...

...and then I remember that I swore an oath alongside my other lone maverick eco-extremists at my first cell meeting. Of course I cannot publish details of this oath, but I know one of your 'intelligence' officers was present at that meeting. It was the guy with the beard, who ordered Stella in the pub after the meeting.

When will you learn, MI5? Nu-environmentalists are all fashionistas now! We gave up the beards ages ago. Send your bearded officers to investigate a local mosque. We all know that everybody who worships Islam is a terrorist, just like every Brazilian public transport user in London and everybody who boards a bus to attend a protest against anything not organised by the Countryside Alliance.

To assist you in assigning your 'intelligence' officers I will describe the some of characteristics required by an 'intelligence' officer assigned to investigate us in the future:

• Gender - Female or male
  
• Ethnicity - All ethnic groups are welcome
• Sexuality - Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, trisexual and asexual.
• Political opinion - Mostly Greens, Socialists, conservatives, liberals and anarchists.
• Class - Working, Middle and Upper
• Employment - Teachers, accountants, solicitors, craftsmen, tradesmen, customer service, students and the retired. To be honest, the retired folks are the ones to watch! They are often the most radical of the lot.
• A unique feature amongst most lone maverick eco-extremists is the belief that we can build a better world by using renewable energies, reducing carbon emissions, reducing, reusing and recycling our waste, natural land management and switching the lights off when you leave a room.
• But the key thing to remember, NO BEARDS!!!
  

Wow! Where did that come from? I read that extremists were prone to incoherent rants but I never thought that I would succumb to such a trait.

I am going to calm down and then ponder some eco-extremist activities over a cup of herbal tea.

Sincerely,
Lone Maverick Eco-Extremist No.143, Cell 54, Based in the UK.